If your Pet had a Job, what would it be?

[Artim]

Some pets would be great garbage collectors, or security officers, or models, or even therapists! So the question of this thread is, what job would your pet have?

My Reba is a catahoula, a true working dog. She is the well-armed chief security officer of our homestead, but we get lots of false alarms for things that are not actual threats. She loves her job!

Okay, MX community, your turn!

[Jerry3904]

Jenny, who just turned 1 year old yesterday, would definitely be an airport drug sniffer.

[JayM]

Let's go the D&D party route instead, but with my dogs.

Joshua, a male Doberman, would be a lawful good thief(!). He's very obedient yet very mischievous and will, if not kenneled, get into the dog food, cat food, garbage (if I'm not home) and whatever else he can get ahold of. He also acts as my lieutenant (I'm the pack leader), disciplining the other dogs by snapping at them if they break the rules, boundaries and limitations. But when push comes to shove he's like "do as I say, not as I do." I can always tell when he's done something he shouldn't because whenever he does he goes inside of his kennel without being told to.

Rahab, female Doberman, is a chaotic neutral, or perhaps chaotic good, fighter. She's a high-energy dog (we often greet her with "Hi, Energy Dog!") and is a bully and, like most bullies, also a coward. She picks fights with all of our smaller dogs, and she's afraid of thunder and fireworks. She has her own way of doing things: there's the right way, the wrong way, and Rahab's way. She's obedient and will obey commands, yet she's also probably the most troublesome dog in the pack.

Jingle, a mixed-breed small female with longish brown fur, erect ears and an erect, feathery tail, is a neutral good monk or cleric, mostly because she reminds me of Friar Tuck in the Robin Hood legend: she's fat, lives to eat, and would never harm a soul. She would be more of a healer than a fighter (as long as there was food in it for her.)

Yummy, a mixture of (I think) Jack Russell terrier and beagle, female, would be a kind of borderline lawful good/neutral good ...healer? She's the most obedient and trouble-free dog in the pack, she's very agile, she never tries to escape beyond the front porch, she's very perceptive and compassionate (if I'm having a bad day she'll come up and lick my face to comfort me.) She's developed selective hearing problems though, pretending not to hear me if I tell her to do something that she doesn't want to do. She's also a pretty good fighter on occasion, due to the terrier in her, so I do have to keep a bit of an eye on her around the other dogs. I've seen her actually attack Rahab.I'm not sure if there's a class for a combination healer and fighter.

Sweetie is a small female Irong Bisaya (native Philippine dog from the Visayas region) with a long torso, with a white base though with a lot of black hairs and spots, and a mostly-black head with beautiful amber-colored eyes. I call her my Visayan Dalmation. She would be a neutral rogue or ninja. She's actually very sweet-tempered and snuggly and likes to sleep next to me on the bed using part of me as a pillow, hence her name, but she's also Harry Houdini reincarnated. She's extremely agile and can leap, climb walls if need be, or do whatever it takes to escape outside (she grew up as a street dog.) She can even manage to open windows and gates, so she's the one who can help the party to get out of any situation they've gotten themselves into. She's by no means any sort of fighter at all.

Lastly, Vincent, a small (but bigger than Sweetie) native Visayan dog, is a lawful good wizard. He's a rescue from the street and when he was a puppy some jackass thought it would be a great idea to shoot him with a high-powered pellet rifle. A pellet's still lodged in his spine, preventing him from being able to use his hind legs. He's my sweet little man! He had a rough life when younger but now has his forever home as my special needs dog (which IMO are the best dogs.) His power is in projecting Mind Control Rays. I can be hanging out watching a video or movie, or reading a website, and before I realize what's happening I'm petting him, scratching him or rubbing/scratching his ears (because he can't.) And if I should try to stop he forces me to continue! The only thing he ever does wrong is occasionally peeing on the bed (I have waterproof mattress covers) because he can't help it, and when he does he lays there and cries, so I can always tell. So he has the ability to make people do things without realizing it.

(I have several cats too, but they're all chaotic neutral bastages. :) "We demand to be petted! We are not amused! Feed us, churl! Where is our water?" Dogs have owners, cats have staff.)

[turtlebay777]

My dog would be a builder specialising in roofs. Roof roof!

[richb]

If I had a dog, I do not and never have, he would be a pointer. He would point to lost golf balls.

[JayM]

If I had a dog, I do not and never have, he would be a pointer. He would point to lost golf balls.

If you had him neutered I bet I know where he'd always be pointing!

[j2mcgreg]

Babe is an Empress. There is no 'would be', "should be', or 'could be' about it!

[masterpeace]

My cat is a rodent-slayer ...

[mxer]

My last cat was definitely a bed tester.......

[Fast-Game]

My cat's would be food tasters, bed testers, flea repellent lab researchers.

My dog would be cat psychologist.